Research of Personal Accounts of Assisted-Suicide:

Finding someone I personally know that has experience with an assisted-suicide was very difficult. I have known many people with terminal illnesses and I have watched them change as their disease took over. No one that I have been close with has asked for help in dying. Instead, I looked into the stories written by various family member and doctors about their experiences helping their loved ones die. Although the world of assisted-suicide is still very secretive in the United States, there are the few that are becoming more and more vocal about their cause.
The leader of the assisted-suicide movement in the United States has been the Hemlock Society. Founded by Derek Humphry, its goal is to provide information and emotional support for those with terminal illnesses. Derek Humphry has written many books, including Final Exit and Jean's Way, both of which will be discussed later. It is illegal to provide physical assistance but the freedom of speech has been able to help many find the information they want. Final Exit is actually banned from France. It provides the medical knowledge for an individual to have a "good death". Aside from the medical aspects, it also looks into the emotional, physical and legal aspects of assisted-suicide. It is a how-to for the terminally ill. Theresa M. Stephany in the American Journal of Hospice and Palliative Care argues for assisted-suicide by saying "It is insulting to assume that patients who request assisted-suicide are clinically depressed. Most are just realistic. They know what lies ahead and they'd rather not continue with it. Let's be honest; despite our best efforts, some deaths are simply too horrible to believe."
The problem with the assisted-suicide being illegal is that it creates an environment where information and resources are shared without supervision. Terminally-ill patients don't know who they can trust, what they need to do, where they can go for help. The few stories that have been published have started to provide the necessary support group for a "good death". Understanding these patients and their stories provides insight into the struggle for information and support.
Jean's Way is the story of Derek Humphry's journey with his first wife Jean. Dying of cancer, she remained hopeful, tried every new treatment but eventually the cancer spread to her bones and she found that her life was no longer the life she wished to lead. She said "I'd rather live a little less and go out on my own terms." She started talking early amongst the family members, preparing them for what was to come. Although they knew of terminally-ill patients committing suicide, they didn't know what they needed. Derek used his resources as a writer to try to find someone to help, it proved challenging for even him. Eventually, they were able to find the resources they needed and plan Jean's death. Challenge after challenge made Jean have to focus on how she could end her life instead of enjoying the last of her life.
Last Wish by Betty Rollin is written about the author's mother and her journey to the end. It is a beautiful story of a strong, independent woman dying of cancer. She tried every treatment, switched doctors but eventually, the quality of life was gone. She could no longer stay alone. She required constant supervision. At one point during her treatment, she asked her doctor "It doesn't make sense anymore. My life is over. It's time to go. Why can't I go? Why can't they give me a pill that would end it? ...if a person wants to go, they should help." It is the cry for help that often goes unanswered. In this case, her daughter Betty was able to find the help she needed for her mother. Many patients don't have the support of family in this matter. A critical idea that is expressed in this book is a conversation that happened between Betty and her husband. Betty says, "I can't image her actually doing it. Can you? Can you?" Her husband responds with "Yes, but in a way that's not the issue. The issue is choice."
In A Chosen Death, five different patients stories are told. Each is unique in cause of death, support of family and friends and why they want to commit suicide. For the terminally ill, many had submitted themselves to all available attempts at life. It was when it became hopeless and painful that they began to consider their alternatives. It is with the support of friends and family that these people were able to end their lives in a peaceful and dignified manner.
In reading through these touching stories, I found a few lessons learned. One is that the patient only wants the choice. One of the stories I read featured a woman dying of cancer that just wanted the pills on hand in case it got too bad. It never did for her but it put her mind at ease to know she had a way out. Allowing assisted-suicide to become legal will allow many more of these patients to have a choice.
Information is easier to come by now days than it was a decade ago. With books such as Final Exit and A Chosen Death, one can find the necessary resources to prepare oneself and their family.
Communication amongst family and friends is very important for the patient. Those that brought up the idea of suicide early in the process were able to spend the most time with their families talking openly about their death. Books on how to have these final conversations with loved ones exist in multitude, some I find hopeful are Final Conversations and An Easeful Death. Support groups exist all across the country for those with terminal illnesses that wish to speak openly, yet secretively, with others going through the same things.
In the end it is the support and love of the loved ones that the patient wishes to remember. It is critical that a patient be provided with the opportunities to express their concerns in an open and hones manner. By legalizing assisted-suicide, even to the very narrow, specific terms that are legal in Oregon, it will allow people to have a choice. Providing a legal choice will allow patients, families and friends get all the information and make an informed decision. Making the choice to end one's life early is hard enough; we need to be able to provide the resources and support system that is missing from these patients stories. As Elizabeth Kubler-Ross says, "Death is not the problem. Dying is feared because of the accompanying sense of hopelessness, helplessness and isolation... Was it Montaigne who said that death is just the moment dying ends?"